Can you answer YES to any of these questions?
- Do you have a partner, but they may not offer the support you need, or home enough for what you need?
- Do you have plenty of family around, but do not feel like you can call on them when you are feeling down or struggling?
- Have you moved to a town where you really do not know many people, and none close enough to call on?
- Do you have friends, but they all have their own ‘stuff’ going on and you don’t want to add to that?
- Do you feel like you should be coping and able to do this parenting role and do not want to tell anyone else of your feelings?
- Have you asked for help but do not want to keep asking?
You are most definitely not alone. The feelings you have, are common for more parents than you realise, you just have not heard about it, because most people do not talk about these questions.
You have heard how great becoming a parent is and how you are going to bond straight away and they are going to feed instantly (whether bottle or breast) and how you will just know what the baby needs and how to meet those needs…
Then reality sets in. You become a parent and some, or all the above may happen, but there is a good chance some will not. Your hormones are all over the place, your baby may be a bit colicky, their sleep patterns may not settle into a routine quickly, and you are sleep deprived, and an emotional blubbering mess!!!
If you do not find some support, this can spiral into a baby that does not settle, bad decisions made, and post-natal depression. It is hard when you are exhausted and overwhelmed to know where to go.
The trick is to tell people you need some help. It makes you a better mum to ask than to travel this road alone. Most other mums understand, chances are they have been there before. The thing is, they think you are doing okay because that is what you are putting out there, so they are not volunteering to help you. Ask for the help, just a few hours, so you can get some sleep or have some adult company. Ask family and friends and if they cannot help maybe they know someone else who can.
There are also professional organisations that can offer some support. Your child health nurse, your doctor can refer you to others, there are support groups for new parents and not so new parents. There are many organisational supports, that offer help and including sleep (for you and baby), feeding and bonding support. You will find these organisations if you search for “parenting line WA” and “beyond blue WA”.
Never think, by reaching out that you are a failure. It takes a stronger person to reach out than one that tries to do it all on their own. Once you find the courage to “ASK”, you will realise you are not alone, and there are many people that really do want to help you.
If you are in the Perth WA area, and you don’t feel like you can call on family or friends, please call Cherished Cherubs Babysitting, it’s the support you can trust, we have many mature women babysitters available that are wonderful supports to new mums.
Call us on 0417 927 525 we are here for you.
